To forgive or not to forgive

To forgive or not to forgive

To forgive according to the oxford dictionary is to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt.

At one point or the other in our lives, we must have been faced with the question of whether to forgive or not to forgive. Letting go of a wrong done to us especially by someone dear can be a very difficult thing to do.

How do you forgive someone who’s toyed with your emotions, taken you for a ride or destroyed your self-esteem? Is it really as easy as it sounds? How do you forgive someone who almost ruined your life? I can hear someone say “do you expect me to forgive him after all he’s done? And why should I forgive her?

Well, you forgive because God asked you to. Remember He forgave you first.

I’ve heard people say it is easy to forgive but difficult to forget. And I was wondering “how do I know I have forgiven if I don’t forget”. Is forgiveness all about saying okay, I forgive you?

According to the definition above, forgiveness means to grant free pardon; Imagine a prisoner is granted free pardon, which means he is set free! First you need to realize that that prisoner who needs to be set free is you. The Igbos (back where I come from) has a saying that he who holds another to the ground is actually holding Himself #jailer and the prisoner.

Colossians 3:13 says “….and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”  Haven said that, forgiveness is a conscious effort. It is a choice we make through a decision of our will in obedience to God’s commandment of forgiveness.  You’ve been hurt but you can decide not to hurt yourself further by deciding to let it go. The truth is when you hold on to a wrong, you think about it and the more you think about it, the more it hurts you that you’ve been hurt but, you can decide to treat it differently.

I know it’s not always easy but that’s the only way to truly rid yourself of the pain and hurt you’re feeling inside

Forgiveness is done by faith as it is against our nature to forgive. Remember the adage “to err is human but to forgive divine”? It’s true!

The human nature is prone to wrong doing but it takes the grace of God to forgive. You will know you have truly forgiven when you start to experience peace and freedom within. You definitely will know I can assure you of that. Make a decision today to forgive that person that needs to be forgiven. It might even be yourself. Ask the Lord to help you and He will.

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